New Orleans 42, Dallas 17- Something had to give: America's new team from America's abandoned city versus America's QB playing for America's old team. The word "America" four times in one sentence? I might as well be Patrick Henry up in here.
Thus continues the protege defeating the master series: Mangini over Belichick, Payton over Parcells, Crennel over Shell. Never mind, that last one was for eating contests. Fat jokes make the world go round.
What happened in this game, you demand? Eh, find out for yourself. Of note: Al Michaels dropping a "WHAT THE HELL WAS HOUSTON THINKING?!" after Reggie Bush scored a TD. How about a little professionalism? Since when is it in your job description, no matter if right or wrong, to trash personnel moves? That being said, what the hell was Houston thinking, question mark, exclamation point.
Miami 21, New England 0- Nick Saban is just the best when your season is over. Once the Dolphins hit six losses, look out, because they are going to tear ass through an 8-8 firestorm. If the NFL had a strike during the first half of the year, the '78 Dolphins would be sweating napalm.
Tom Brady supposedly yelled at a fan during this game. That's so cute.
Buffalo 31, New York 13- With a New England loss....Buffalo could move to within two games with a win!! The AFC East is where football goes to die.
Cincinnati 27, Oakland 10- Are there any references on how good the Raiders defense would be if they were opposite a functional offense? My guess is no, no one is that bored.
Don't look now, the Bengals are 8-5. Actually they want you to look. They always want you to look....in the crime section.
Tennessee 26, Houston 20- Titans at 6-7? Their defense is still pretty bad, but Vince Young might as well be ROY. Most of those big runs are on third down, the "money" down as perverts like to put it.
Really, Houston, what the h-e-double hockey sticks were you thinking, bold exclamation point.
San Diego 48, Denver 20- Fun fact about Denver: Starting the past four years 5-1 means nothing. After that, those silly Broncos have gone just 20-18. Don't ever speak to me about starting the season on a high note, I will punch your grandmother.
Fun fact about Phillip Rivers: His job. The highest scoring offense does not even concern the wide receivers? You got it, Rivers just throws (lobs) it to Antonio Gates in the high post. Then there's this guy named Ladainian Tomlinson. HE'S PRETTY GOOD, ahahaha
That never gets old, when announcers go "yeah, there's also this guy named LT.....he's pretty darn good.....he's been known to get a touchdown or two" AHAHAHA, I get it! You do the tongue-in-cheek stick.
If announcers had balls, they would get crazy with it: "Gods of the cosmos, it's Ladainian Tomlinson, bring your first born to his grand sacrifice as we kneel down before the greatest of all individuals and ritualize his Holiness in all that we do. He gallops like the graceful gazelle and possesses the sheer power of several bison. I am not subservient enough to his heiness, so I will now shove a flamethrower down my throat. All hail Chief Tomlinson."
Good question! Yes, I am a bitter Bronco fan. You go to hell, Houston.
3 comments:
You forgot the Colts forgetting the art of tackling, man. When Jones-Drew and Taylor are getting 300 plus and 300 plus, your run defense sucks more than Jenna Jameson at a urologist convention...
Oh contraire mon frare.
Jenna Jameson only does girl-on-girl now.
Didn't J-D look a lot like a remote-controlled toy tank on that kick return?
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