Sooze

I am the Fred Astaire of karate.
-Vince Lombardi

My name is Sooze and I'm an alcoholic. As a 25-year-old journalism student, I'm hoping to one day get paid to watch and write about sports. That is, unless being a gunslingin' bounty hunter/drunk K-Mart underwear model doesn't pan out.

I was born in a barn and raised in Minnesota, but I hate the Vikings with all of my cold, cold heart. I've hated them for as long as I can remember, which isn't saying much, since I can't recall what I ate for breakfast. I think this is how I became a Packer fan; it was my destiny.

I'm pretty sure my Dad always wished I was a boy, even though he already had three of them. We used to turn down the volume on the television and do the play-by-play ourselves on Sunday afternoons until he'd fall asleep. (Aaawwwww). I still do, credits to the wonderboy announcers of this generation.

I’d rather play than work. I’d rather drink and smoke than go to the gym. I love the Packers and I love Brett Favre. In turn, I love cheap beer, bratwurst and cheese. I believe that people who "hate the snow" are a bunch of pussies. Hot baths, green tea, walks on the beach and tracking down criminals to beat the crap out of them with blunt objects are just a few things that bring me joy. Also, believe it or not, I can juggle like a mofo.

Being a fan isn't always easy. Our favorite teams can’t go all the way every year. So, after pain-staking scientific research that kept me up very, very late at times, I’ve found nothing short of a sense of humor and a sixer helps to curb the spiral into the total madhouse that is football season for a Cheesehead.

All kidding aside and regardless of what John Madden might try to pound into your melon, the point is sport. Sport is the single greatest and quite possibly the oldest outlet in the history of our world. Competition: there's nothing like it.

Obviously, if you're not playing the game, the next best thing is to spectate. Sports are unique in the way they bring hope and passion into our lives as fans - sometimes only to leave us writhing with heartache. What says I Fucking Love You like two tickets to a football game? That's right, nothing.

So, here's to Sport. May it last forever.


When Sooze is not completely out of control, she also rants and reports over at Babes That Love Baseball - a Minnesota Twins blog. Babes That Love Basketball is another project of hers...which isn't as fun, since the Wolves suck ass. Luckily, she has taken on yet another project with co-editor and founder of the Critical Sports Blog, The Critic. She'll make it smell nice.