49ers vs. Broncos - The Buzzed Edition

Never has there been a game more intriguing than this. Unless you live outside of Denver. And San Francisco.

Alex Smith vs. Jay Cutler Jake Plummer.

Al Gore Frank Gore vs. umm... Jason Elam?

Halftime Update With A Mild Slur

Elam kicks a 22-yard field goal and the Broncos are on the board with 42 seconds remaining in the 1st quarter. I was starting to pass out from all this excitement! 49ers 0, Broncos 3

DT Anthony Adams breaks Cutler's legs a minute and three seconds into the 2nd quarter.

Denver gets within field-goal range again with 11:23 left in the half, Elam puts it through from 21. 49ers 0, Broncos 6

"Oh no, Alex Smith! Be careful! Watch out for Champ Bailey! Too late, dumbass." Baily intercepts a short pass intended for Gore and runs it back for a touchdown. 49ers 0, Broncos 13

The Niners manage to get within field goal range, kind of, before the 2-minute warning. Joe Nedney nails it from 46 yards out. 49ers 3, Broncos 13

Third Quarter Debacle

Alex Smith finds his balls and throws a short pass for a 32 yard TD by Moron Moran Norris. Get your crap together Broncos defense! This is for some of the marbles!
49ers 10, Broncos 13

Do you hear that? Why... it sounds like a giant sucking sound coming from Denver's butthole! No, it's just Jay Cutler back in the game. A pass intended for S Alexander was picked off by W Harris and brought back for a 23 yard TD. 49ers 17, Broncos 13

Was that a whistle? Nope. False alarm.

The Broncos get within range and Elam boots a 22-yarder with a minute-and-a-half left in the period. 49ers 17, Broncos 16

Post Game Wrap

Psyche! After many a fumble on both sides of the ball, we are headed into over time. Christ.

The Niners kicked yet another field goal in the start of the fourth. 49ers 20, Broncos 16

Then, Nedney nails another 46-yarder at the 8:30 mark. 49ers 23, Broncos 16

Cutler unexplainably hits Tony Scheffler up the middle for a TD. Unreal. The Broncos can get into the playoffs with a tie or a win, so all they have to do is not lose.

Seems simple enough, right? 49ers 23, Broncos 23

OT Update

What better way to end this mess of a game than with a field goal? San Fran marches up the field and gets within range easily. Nedney pumps it through and Denver will not be playing this post season. Suckers. Final Score: 49ers 26, Broncos 23

Frank Gore rushed for 152 yards on 31 carries, with 2 receptions for 32 yards. What a horse.

Young Alex Smith went 17/32 for 194 yards, with one TD pass and an INT.

Jake Plummer went 0/2 with an interception. Good job, buddy.

Jay Cutler went 21/32 for 230 yards, crying trying his little heart out with one TD pass and an INT. Better luck next year. Take care of those legs that you never hurt. And that head.

As for you fuckers, I have no clue why you've read this far, but you can find me on the next post, having it out with Tuffy.