Alright, let's get this underwhelming party started. Pittsburgh is 5-7 but has (barely) outscored their opponents, leaving them just a bit of good luck away from mediocrity; Cleveland is 4-8 and hoping the third point guard from the Heat can pull them through again.For those of you not in an institutional setting, you may also wish to consider these possibilities:
My Name Is Earl is doing a one-hour special on measuring the annoyance of Leguizamo against the chest of Pressley.
Smallville has Allison Mack and others I kinda notice near her.
Uhm...TBS has the Chris Elliott vehicle Snow Day.
You get the idea.
Update #1: ....and that didn't take long. Nice assist from Derek to Kellen Winslow for the bucket and the foul on the third play from scrimmage. Give me a second to get my nachos and beer and find my seat again, would you, Derek? 7-0 Browns.
Update #2: Ben? Honey? Do you feel alright? D'Qwell Jackson isn't on the practice squad; he's a Cleveland Brown. I tell you what; I'll introduce you two once he comes back from that hideous touchdown dance he's doing. Very quickly, 14-0 Browns.
Update #3: With just a couple minutes left in the first quarter, Willie Parker was just sent to brain bruise land by Willie McGinest on a third and short. He was out long enough to visit Narnia but not long enough to join an actual Crusade. (We joke because we love; also, I waited until he sat up on his own and asked for a lollipop.)
During this very long delay, we find out two things about the NFL Network: one, they want sooze and the rest of you to think they're CSI because they've shown the blow graphically enough that I may need to call a loved one to sit with me and ensure I don't go to sleep for 6 hours. Two, Bryant Gumbel thought the starting running back was Lewis Parker. Hey, Bryant, Pittsburgh wishes.
