Wonderlickin' Good

Are you ready for the Jay Cutler era, or error, if you ask Michael Irvin. No one's asked Michael Irvin since 1992. In case you have lived under Sam Adams all your life, the big news is that Cutler will start tonight against the Seattle Seahawks. At 7-4, the Broncos remain a substantially flawed team, especially in the hellish AFC.

Rushing out to a 5-1 record, the media peeps argued that this defense may be as good, if not better, than premier defenses like Baltimore and Chicago. But while they were first in scoring defense, they were not in the top ten in yards allowed, either passing or rushing. It was the ultimate "bend but not break" philosophy, with defensive coordinator Larry Coyer scaling back on the blitzes that were so prevalent in 2005. Moreover, they faced offenses that dilly dallied when they hit the red zone (Oakland, Baltimore, Cleveland). And yes, I just used the phrase "dilly dally" on an NFL blog.

Then they faced Indianapolis, and all the foibles were on display for the world. The front four could not get a consistent pass rush alone, and yet, there was no blitz pressure on Manning the whole game. It also proved that if you play opposite Champ Bailey, good teams will pick on you all day. Enter Reggie Wayne and second year CB Darent Williams. Wayne was clearly leading that dance all day, and smoked DW to the tune of 221 yards and two scores.

Another exercise in poor defense happened against KC. The Chiefs pushed the defensive line back four to five yards every run play, leaving John Lynch to clean up the mess when Larry Johnson hit the secondary. Lynch is effective, but aging, and the likes of Larry Johnson can often run by him.

All in all, the defense is still what is right with this team. The offense, meanwhile, has all the rhythm of a Bjork song, producing seemingly one impressive drive a game. Mike Shanahan has mixed runningbacks, benched O-linemen, reigned in his pass catching tight end to block, and searched desperately for some receiver help alongside Javon Walker. Hmmmm, what's left? Oh right, Jake Plummer.

To be fair, Plummer was excellent last year. To be unfair, I hope I never see him in a Denver uniform after this season. Two years ago, Plummer was more or less let loose, resulting in a 27 TD, 20 pick year. The twenty-seven touchdowns were a Bronco single season record. The twenty interceptions were....rage enducing. Shanahan knew he had to tame this wild mare (that's stupid), and the process looked promising last year. Plummer had 18 TDs and only seven picks. This year, Shanahan maintains the reigns, but to the detriment of the playcalling. Plummer takes even an iota of a chance, and it's interception city, population dunce. I don't know what that means.

Jay Cutler is our Tony Romo. He can make the throws, he can curb the mistakes, and he can put this team in the playoffs. Well, actually, I don't think so. I think they finish 10-6 and still miss the postseason. The certainty for this team is that the time to play this kid is now. The confidence in him is contagious up and down the roster. Rod Smith said he is ready; when was the last time Rod Smith lied to you? Last Thursday? Really? I'm sorry then.

What I really love about Jay Cutler is how he aced the useless Wonderlic Test. With questions like: "What's the ninth month of the year?" Cutler might as well be a brain surgeon. Few people know, however, that the Broncos gave him another test. Paper and three #2 pencils in hand, Jay the Brain got 110 out of 100. Here are some of the questions on the Bronco test:

- It's 4th and 4, your team is down by one. You call a dropback pass play and your primary receiver is covered, what do you do?

1. Look off the primary receiver and dump it off to a back
2. Get it to the slot receiver who is covered by a shorter DB
3. Eye the primary receiver like he was Eva Longoria, ignore the quadruple coverage, summon the greatest powers of the soul, bring your arm back to a full right angle and fling it like a catapult with such sheer velocity that if anyone touches it, their hand explodes, except for the receiver that catches it after a series of explosions has slowed said ball down, TD and you're a hero

- It's 1st and goal at the one, game tied, and your coach has called a playaction pass to the tight end. Turns out the blitz has come too quick and its on you before you know it, what do you do?

1. Throw it away
2. Take the sack and avoid the mistake to ensure a score
3. Pffff, F that. I'm going to stay up until the last possible moment and throw a sidearm shiver as I'm falling down, because there is NO WAY the defensive end could pick that off and take it down the sideline 99 yards. TD and you're a hero

- How do you feel about throwing from the pocket?

1. With good protection, it's just stepping up and airing it out
2. I can sense the blitz well and appreciate good line play
3. Terrified. That thing is so frightening. I mean, there are defensive players all over the place?!?! I would prefer to run out of the pocket, to the right or the left, so I can cut the field in half. That means half the decisions and I am more likely to be a TD hero.

- Do you think QBs should look professional on and off the field?

1. Yes
2. More on than off
3. I think QBs should grow either a mustache fitting for films entitled "In Diana Jones," or grow all of their hair out so much that marmosets start hitting on them. Somehow, TD hero.

- What QB do you model your game after?

1. Joe Montana
2. John Elway
3. Toss up: Aaron Brooks or Sean Salisbury

- Fans are really on your back, how do you respond?

1. Take it easy on them, they are entitled to that
2. It is upsetting, but I'll live with it
3. THOSE PIECES OF CRAP. THIS REALLY BRINGS MY LYMPH TO A BOIL. I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO FLICK THEM OFF AND ISSUE A HALF-ASSED APOLOGY. LET'S SEE SOME OTHER QB HAVE SUCCESS AGAINST A REALLY HORRIBLE DOLPHINS TEAM.

- True or False: Are you Jake Plummer?

1. False