Everyday.
Are you ready for some Packers football? Well, you’re really not until you shove a brat in your mouth and down a pint of Milwaukee’s Best, or twelve. After many tested hypotheses, I’ve found this season - and every one since around ‘98 - more entertaining and much easier to discuss after I’ve consumed mass amounts of alcohol.
On that note, let’s take an intimate look at Green Bay’s season up until this point.
Week 13 is upon us and the Packers stink like sauerkraut. After a 1-3 preseason, they’ve managed to muster a win against two division rivals: the 5-6 Vikes and the 2-9 Lions. Impressive, I know. Generally speaking, in a division such as the NFC North, a crappy record doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not going to the playoffs. Enter the 9-2 Chicago Bears.
The Pack started their season with high hopes. After all the retirement rumors at the end of last season and speculation throughout the entire off season, legendary starting QB Brett Favre returned for "what could possibly be his last first game ever". They were shut out 26-0 by the Bears in broad daylight.
Then the Saints came marching into Lambeau, coming off a vagabond year, all fired up about a guy named Reggie. Piss-pounding ensued and the Packers found themselves at 0-2.
They held on tightly to a shred of dignity and beat the Lions on the road before two straight losses to Philly and St. Louis. Whispers of Favre’s possible retirement slithered out of the Primetime woodwork while prayers for a less painful season could be heard in taverns throughout Wisconsin. Maybe a bye week was all they needed to regroup?
It seemed so, as they took down (ex-nemesis) Dante Culpepper and the Dolphins before putting the beat down on Leinart and the Cardinals. Holy crap, two in a row! Suddenly, they had a 3-4 record and the future didn't seem so dim. Next thing you know, they're in Buffalo, being held to one touchdown and a field goal for their fifth loss of the season.
The Pack then hopped across the river to Minnesota, where Fred Smoot runs wild with a broad on each arm, insisting he looks fabulous in purple. Or maybe that was Prince. Regardless, there were no water-recreation related shenanigans that weekend, unless you count the spanking that went down at the Metrodome, a 23-17 Vikings loss. Confidence rebuilding, now!
The Patriots arrived at what is normally a frozen tundra two weeks ago and shutout the Packers 35-0 before they were creamed by the recently refreshed Shaun Alexander and trigger-happy Hasselbeck on the national Monday night stage, in "what could possibly be Brett Favre’s last Monday night football appearance of his career". Pshh.
The Packers are now 4-7 with five games remaining, looking forward to a home game against the 6-5 Jets where they will strive to not play like the JV team we’ve been watching all year. Any playoff hopes flew out the window long ago, so all that can really be done at this point to save face is win out the season.
I've got my eye on you, McCarthy.
Are you ready for some Packers football? Well, you’re really not until you shove a brat in your mouth and down a pint of Milwaukee’s Best, or twelve. After many tested hypotheses, I’ve found this season - and every one since around ‘98 - more entertaining and much easier to discuss after I’ve consumed mass amounts of alcohol.
On that note, let’s take an intimate look at Green Bay’s season up until this point.
Week 13 is upon us and the Packers stink like sauerkraut. After a 1-3 preseason, they’ve managed to muster a win against two division rivals: the 5-6 Vikes and the 2-9 Lions. Impressive, I know. Generally speaking, in a division such as the NFC North, a crappy record doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not going to the playoffs. Enter the 9-2 Chicago Bears.
The Pack started their season with high hopes. After all the retirement rumors at the end of last season and speculation throughout the entire off season, legendary starting QB Brett Favre returned for "what could possibly be his last first game ever". They were shut out 26-0 by the Bears in broad daylight.
Then the Saints came marching into Lambeau, coming off a vagabond year, all fired up about a guy named Reggie. Piss-pounding ensued and the Packers found themselves at 0-2.
They held on tightly to a shred of dignity and beat the Lions on the road before two straight losses to Philly and St. Louis. Whispers of Favre’s possible retirement slithered out of the Primetime woodwork while prayers for a less painful season could be heard in taverns throughout Wisconsin. Maybe a bye week was all they needed to regroup?
It seemed so, as they took down (ex-nemesis) Dante Culpepper and the Dolphins before putting the beat down on Leinart and the Cardinals. Holy crap, two in a row! Suddenly, they had a 3-4 record and the future didn't seem so dim. Next thing you know, they're in Buffalo, being held to one touchdown and a field goal for their fifth loss of the season.
The Pack then hopped across the river to Minnesota, where Fred Smoot runs wild with a broad on each arm, insisting he looks fabulous in purple. Or maybe that was Prince. Regardless, there were no water-recreation related shenanigans that weekend, unless you count the spanking that went down at the Metrodome, a 23-17 Vikings loss. Confidence rebuilding, now!
The Patriots arrived at what is normally a frozen tundra two weeks ago and shutout the Packers 35-0 before they were creamed by the recently refreshed Shaun Alexander and trigger-happy Hasselbeck on the national Monday night stage, in "what could possibly be Brett Favre’s last Monday night football appearance of his career". Pshh.
The Packers are now 4-7 with five games remaining, looking forward to a home game against the 6-5 Jets where they will strive to not play like the JV team we’ve been watching all year. Any playoff hopes flew out the window long ago, so all that can really be done at this point to save face is win out the season.
I've got my eye on you, McCarthy.
3 comments:
The big question for the Pack: Will Jim Taylor come back for his 45th year?
Oh - and how about Hawk and Hodge-good duo or bad rap group?
Sadly, Jim Taylor's children have a rest home already set up on the Florida Coast, complete with golf, simulated NFL games and a plastic surgeon.
Hawk and Hodge - GREAT DUO! In fact, I might make them matching spandex outfits...oh, wait.
I'm shocked that Jim won't be coming back. He loves the game so much.
Post a Comment